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Tuesday, 05 February 2008 |
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Page 1 of 5 The Parent Trapby Shasta Walker, Women's Soccer World Magazine.
Used by permission.
« Parent involvement in youth soccer is like the old adage, "Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em." Maybe it's just a matter of trust. »
Hey WSW Readers!
It's a semi-final game of the State Cup and the players are preparing for a shoot-out to determine the winner. As the goalkeeper approaches the net, parents begin shouting last-minute instructions from the sidelines. Nervous, the goalie turns to the parents and sternly tells them, "Leave me alone! I'm scared."
During a hard fought game in another state semi-final match, a parent continues to yell instructions to his daughter and loudly questions the referees' calls. She looks at her dad and tells him to "Shut up!"
A mother of an Under-8 girls' team calls the person in charge of uniforms at 2 AM to complain that the color of the uniforms does not match properly. She cannot believe that whoever selected the uniforms did not know anything about STYLE.
Do these situations sound familiar? Enthusiastic parents with the best of intentions are involving themselves in youth soccer. Without proper direction, guidelines and rules in place, their energies are often misdirected, causing negative experiences for their own child as well as other players, coaches, referees, and volunteers.
Omar Camargo, who has been a coach an trainer in the Houston area for 14 years, a South Texas Girls' ODP coach for 8 years and a Soccer Dad, readily admits that he first became involved in youth soccer "because I thought I had all the answers." He remembers his own mistakes as a soccer parent. "There was a time when I ran up and down the sidelines yelling at the kids and telling them what to do... when I yelled at the referee for making stupid calls. There was even a time when I did not let my own son go to another club, because I did not like the coach."
Camargo realized he was "out of synch" after attending coaching clinics and conventions, but the greatest insight came from his own players. "I have learned more from my players about how to be a father than from any other source. Parents don't know how many times I've heard the kids say that their father or mother is a 'jerk'. Parents need to understand that players hate parental involvement when it is much more than driving to and from games and practices. They want your support. They want you to enjoy the game.
"Most parents mean well and work hard. They are the ones who make phone calls, spend time out in the sun taking registrations, cut the grass before the game and organize tournaments. Thanks to parents we have organized clubs, fields to play on, etc., but they need their role clearly defined," Camargo asserts. "Soccer is about the kids."
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